Dealing with Imposter Syndrome
This blog post is associated with episode six of the podcast with ElaineMokk about imposter syndrome.
“I’m not good enough”
“I don’t deserve this”
“Everyone else is so much more put together and smarter, I feel inferior”
“I want to hide and do nothing, it’s not like I’ll be as good as these people”
Throughout our lives, we’re often comparing ourselves with others as we work towards our goals. Whether it starts when we’re young and our parents are comparing us with other kids. Then you start school and head to work and you wonder, “Do I belong here?” This is imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is an internal belief that you are not as competent and capable compared to others. It’s thinking that you’re a phony or fraud and that you don’t belong. That you’re not good enough. While this is not classified as a mental disorder, characteristics like low self-esteem, feeling like a failure, sabotaging your success, and self-doubt fall under depression and anxiety, too. In particular, it closely aligns with social anxiety disorders because an individual might feel like they don’t belong in social situations or that someone will judge you and figure out your incompetency. This term was first used by psychologists Suzanna Imes and Pauline Rose Clance in the 1970s and was originally applied to high-achieving women. Over time, it has been used more commonly with an estimate of at least 70% of people experiencing this.
Mental health is unique and each individual undergoes their own sets of challenges, things that work for them, and things that don’t help at all. Similarly, imposter syndrome can appear in various ways and are identified by Valerie Young as:
While in med school, Rebecca Russell noticed that many of her classmates, including herself, was experiencing imposter syndrome because of the pressure to excel. When reflecting on her professional identity, she shared the following statement:
We focus on the moments where we feel that we do not have enough experience; we are just “pretending” to fit in. Yet, we hardly ever reflect on the moments when we are not imposters. Instead, we relentlessly focus on what is next or where gaps in our knowledge exist. But for every moment when we feel inadequate, there is another moment when we realize a previous challenge is now mundane.
Reading her statement resonated with me as I’ve been trying to practice celebrating my successes. Imposter syndrome is something I have experienced throughout my life, beginning with my parents constantly comparing me with their friends’ children and eventually, I compared myself with my friends. Even now, as I am a graduate student, I wonder if I’m smart or capable enough to be in my program as other students have incredible backgrounds. For the podcast, I have been thinking about creating one for some time but was hesitant because I thought that I did not have enough time and that I did not have enough knowledge to talk about mental health topics like a psychologist or therapist would have. I also found myself comparing my podcast to Brené Brown and Michelle Obama’s podcasts, which are inspiring, well-spoken, and extremely high quality. I had constant thoughts like:
“Will anyone listen to my podcast?”
“Is my content interesting?”
“Will I even help anyone?”
“What makes my podcast stand out compared to someone else who has a more impressive academic and professional background?”
“People are going to say that I’m not qualified to talk about these things.”
Yes, Michelle Obama has a large number of listeners for her podcast but that doesn’t mean mine is automatically unsuccessful or unhelpful. To cope with imposter syndrome with my podcast, I actively remind myself that these women have many years of experience, are well-established in their careers, and have a production team, whereas I edit and plan all of my episodes on my own (with the support of my friends who cheer me on and review my content, of course). However, while I ground myself by recognizing that I have a different background compared to Michelle Obama and Brené Brown, it’s also important to acknowledge aspects that do not pertain to others. For me, it’s about celebrating my successes, which include:
Funnily enough, it was much easier to come up with the negative thoughts swimming through my mind to showcase how imposter syndrome looked like for me, whereas it was more difficult to come up with my successes. We might engage in a perfectionist mindset, where we’re caught up with needing to do things perfectly and focusing on the flaws or thinking that we need to be the expert to share our stories and experiences. But this is not the case. No matter someone’s background or experience level, we can always learn from others. The coworker getting on your nerves and asking you endless questions about their work? You might find that you’re working on your patience and how to communicate with others.
If there is an area of your life like school, work, or a project that you’re working on that is causing you to experience imposter syndrome, I encourage you to write down the successes or proud moments you have. It could be setting up a study schedule for the semester or having a tough conversation with a coworker. It doesn’t always have to be something grand or big, success comes in steps and we often overlook them.